A man breaks into a tech billionaire’s empty vacation home, but things go sideways when the arrogant mogul and his wife arrive for a last-minute getaway.

HELL YEAH METH DAMON

In “Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers,” Chip and Dale are living amongst cartoons and humans in modern-day Los Angeles, but their lives are quite different now. It has been decades since their successful television series was canceled, and Chip (voice of Mulaney) has succumbed to a life of suburban domesticity as an insurance salesman. Dale (voice of Sandberg), meanwhile, has had CGI surgery and works the nostalgia convention circuit, desperate to relive his glory days. When a former cast mate mysteriously disappears, Chip and Dale must repair their broken friendship and take on their Rescue Rangers detective personas once again to save their friend’s life.

All this time, I wondered — what on Earth would be the pitch for a Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers movie which would make The Lonely Island and John Mulaney sign on.

And lo, here it is. I’m stunned.

Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers hits Disney+ on May 20, 2022.

LEGO:

The LEGO Group and PlayStation, join forces to delight fans of both brands with the very first LEGO® set inspired by the world of Horizon Forbidden West. Working with acclaimed developer Guerrilla, the collaboration – recreates the authentic features within the Horizon Forbidden West videogame and transforms the experience into LEGO brick form for fans around the world. Designed as a build and display model, this 1,222-piece set is sure to invite builders into the 31st century and encourage imaginations to flow freely through the process of building out the Horizon universe.

This LEGO set for adults will take builders into an adventure world through Aloy, a fierce machine hunter and the Tallneck, the iconic and awe-inspiring machine Aloy uses to explore nearby areas in her mission to restore order and balance in Horizon Forbidden West. Included in this set is a brand-new headpiece for Aloy, the Watcher machine that comes with a choice of blue, yellow or red eyes and her bow and brick-built spear, alongside the authentic Tallneck machine, with a smooth, disc-shaped head and long slim legs to add striking features within the model. Fans can finish their build by adding the beautiful landscape details like the brick-built birch tree, tall grass and a rusty stoplight, completing the centerpiece for its display moment.

Love it! This just adds to my hype for Horizon Forbidden West this weekend.

A cool $80 gets it for you on May 1st, 2022.

Brooklyn Vegan:

Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s 1994 debut release All Lights Fucked on the Hairy Amp Drooling had basically become a lost artifact of underground rock lore. The band apparently mentioned in a 1998 interview that it got a cassette release limited to 33 copies, though none of those copies ever seemed to resurface after the band’s career took off and neither the band nor their label Constellation Records ever reissued it. In 2013, one fan claimed to have purchased a copy and leaked it online, though its authenticity was never confirmed. It leaked again earlier this month, and now, ten days after that leak, the band has finally officially released the record on their Bandcamp for the first time since its initial 1994 release.

Gosh, I remember this being the #1 most requested release on What.cd for ages.

Now, I can’t say, upon listening to it, that this is really “good” by any means — it’s very different from that came of GY!BE after — but at least the completionists have it, and the money’s going to a great cause.

Grab yourself a copy here.

Amazon Studios’ forthcoming series brings to screens for the very first time the heroic legends of the fabled Second Age of Middle-earth’s history. This epic drama is set thousands of years before the events of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, and will take viewers back to an era in which great powers were forged, kingdoms rose to glory and fell to ruin, unlikely heroes were tested, hope hung by the finest of threads, and the greatest villain that ever flowed from Tolkien’s pen threatened to cover all the world in darkness.

Beginning in a time of relative peace, the series follows an ensemble cast of characters, both familiar and new, as they confront the long-feared re-emergence of evil to Middle-earth. From the darkest depths of the Misty Mountains, to the majestic forests of the elf-capital of Lindon, to the breathtaking island kingdom of Númenor, to the furthest reaches of the map, these kingdoms and characters will carve out legacies that live on long after they are gone.

Well, you can’t say the money isn’t on the screen. Wow.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power hits Amazon Prime on September 2, 2022.