GREEN ZONE (2010): A Review
The pass for this screening of Green Zone was provided by B. In addition, this “mini-review” will be appearing in their newspaper. Thanks, guys!
Despite what the director, lead actor and (especially) the trailers may make you believe, Green Zone is anything but the 4th Bourne film. In fact, if it’s part of any series, it’s part of the seemingly never ending line of political thrillers revolving around the ongoing conflict in Iraq. Soldiers are just pawns in a game put together by the fat cats in Washington, the public doesn’t know the truth, and honestly, you’ve seen this story told a thousand times before.
You’d think that with a great cast including Matt Damon, Brendan Gleeson, and Amy Ryan, you could at least count on Oscar quality performances, but no, Green Zone’s cast seems to sleepwalk through performances as basic and predictable as the script. The only bright point seems to be Greg Kinnear, who chews scenery as Clark Poundstone, a member of Pentagon Special Intellegence. His character is a cut throat political player, and Kinnear seems to revel in every minute he’s on screen.
But the real issues of the film come down to an awkward, action-heavy third act, which seems tacked on to please audiences who need a resolution to a real-life conflict that has yet to have one, and the heavy handed direction of Paul Greengrass. Look, I loved the shaky feel of the Bourne films too, but not every single scene needs to rock back and forth like they’re at sea.
It all comes down to this – if you’re looking for a great film set against the backdrop of the Iraq conflict this weekend – don’t go see Green Zone. Redbox a copy of The Hurt Locker instead. At least Kathryn Bigelow knows how to set a camera steady.
THE BOOK OF ELI (2010): A Review
In the interest of full disclosure, the passes to tonight’s screening of The Book of Eli were provided to me by the fine folks at b.
When you put together a film designed to juxtapose the guiding light of religion and faith with the bleak world of a post apocalyptic society, the last thing you’d wager a filmmaker would want to leave the audience with is a feeling of indifference. Unfortunately, with it’s paper thin characters, miscast actors and plot cobbled together from dozens of films that came before it, The Book of Eli takes these elements and reduces them to a grey-brown mixture of ineffectiveness, much like the color palate of the film.
The movie starts off strong enough, casting Denzel Washington as Eli, a man wandering through a world reduced to a sun-bleached pile of rubble. It’s in these opening moments that the film is strongest – shot wonderfully on the digital camera of the day, the Red One camera, with a beautiful Nine Inch Nails circa Ghosts I-IV style score by Atticus Ross. It places Eli almost as a wasteland equivalent of the classic wandering samurai, moving from location to location, fighting those who stand in his way and incur his wrath. Honestly, I could’ve gone for two hours of just this.
Shortly after a gory and brutal fight sequence, Eli arrives in one of the few settlements remaining in this desolate world, a town lead by Carnegie (Gary Oldman), a corrupt mayor with a taste for books. It’s here that the film starts to sputter out, just inches away from the starting line. Carnegie is after the last remaining copy of the Bible, a book which Eli so happens to have – something Carnegie doesn’t know. But after Eli gets into another scuffle, this time with Carnegie’s men, Carnegie decides he wants Eli to be part of his “crew”, an understandable thought given that Eli just murdered 90% of his men. And Carnegie, being the paper thin corrupt leader stereotype which Gary Oldman is trying to breathe life into, tempts Eli with everything he can. Food, water, and even his own “stepdaughter”, Solara (a painfully miscast Mila Kunis). But Eli is a man of faith! He must continue on his trail to the “West”. These temptations do not stop him. And even at the threat of personal harm, Eli continues on.
Of course, this isn’t without a few hitches, the first of which being Solara. Solara, now playing the role of the sidekick that won’t leave the hero alone, continues to follow Eli, despite his warnings that the world isn’t safe for a pretty lil’ girl like her. Which brings me to my biggest problem with Kunis in this role. Mila Kunis can do great work – when given the right script. I thought she was the heart and soul of Forgetting Sarah Marshall! But with her perfect looks, nary a hair-out-of-place style, and general lack of grime (compared to the other characters), she stands out like a sore thumb in this bleak future.
As I’m sure you can imagine – with Eli leaving his town with the Bible (and with Solara in tow), Carnegie and his men follow them West, into a clunky third act. Strangely enough, this is where the movies most effective scenes (minus the stunning opening) lie, but by juxtaposing a rather humorous sequence with two older residents of a farm alongside a wonderfully shot shootout sequence which had me recalling the best moments of Children of Men, the effectiveness of both scenes is rendered null and void.
And it’s from here that the movie rushes to wrap up every loose end, combining a sequence lifted directly from Children of Men (rowboat with important cargo), a twist ending which feels tacked on (and I doubt would hold up on a second viewing), and a hamfisted hint towards a sequel – or trilogy, given that studios love them these days – leaving me feel cold. You’d think a film which is based in faith and religion would leave you fired up, but instead, none of the passion of Eli for his beliefs, or Carnegie for his…uh…want to run more cities? (it’s barely addressed), or Solara’s want to…uh…do…something(?)can be felt at any time during the film. It’s a zero sum game.
It’s a shame when you can tell that the crew of a film worked so hard to bring their A-Game to a project, but The Book of Eli proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, no matter how many great actors you pair together, no matter how many great films you crib from, at the end of the day, it can be rendered ineffective if the passion never makes it to the screen.
AVATAR (2009): A Review
As I write this, it’s 11:11pm on Thursday, December 10th, 2009.
I’m about 40 minutes, and a dinner past getting out of Avatar, James Cameron’s latest opus.
It’s taken him 12 years to return to the big screen, having last blown away the entire cinematic world with Titanic. And if you’ve been following this site, you know that I’ve been watching this project, and been skeptical every step of the way.
I went to the “Avatar Day” showing, which was meant to wow…and was left underwhelmed.
Did Cameron still have it? Had Fox put out nearly $300 Million for nothing?
The answer is simple: James Cameron has done it again, with the massively scaled, revolutionary film Avatar.
When reviewing a project such as Avatar, it’s difficult to breakdown the film into the traditional review.
Is the plot surprising and interesting? Not quite. If you’ve watched the trailers, you’ve probably already figured it out. Boy becomes Na’vi. Boy as Na’vi is supposed to hang out with aliens for the military. Boy as Na’vi meets Na’vi girl. They fall in love. Military wants to destroy Na’vi to get access to a super rare mineral. Boy as Na’vi doesn’t like it and change sides. It’s broad strokes, no wheels are being reinvented here.
Is it the acting? Not really there, either. Sam Worthington is somewhat bland (albeit servicable) as Jake Sully, the parapalegic Marine who agrees to enter the Avatar project after his twin brother passes. Zoe Saldana, in a mostly motion capture role as Neytiri, a Na’vi warrior princess, is your typical strong tribal girl type. Michelle Rodriguez appears as…Michelle RodriguezTrudy Chacon, literally the same role she’s always been. Sure, Stephen Lang chews up scenery as Colonel Miles Quaritch, a sort of R. Lee Ermey, Giovanni Ribisi is fantastically sleezy as the leader of RDA, Parker Selfridge, and Sigourney Weaver plays a fantastic role as Dr. Grace Augustine, a pseudo Dian Fossey for the Na’vi people, but it’s not about the acting.
I’d even say some moments are cringeworthy, like the mineral being called Unobtanium (ugh.), and a really surreal Na’vi prayer sequence which reminds me far too much of the rave sequence from The Matrix Reloaded. I can already hear the detractors now.
So if it’s not the plot…and not the acting…and some of it is cringeworthy…what is so damned exciting?
Pandora.
Pandora, the planet which serves as the backdrop for the entire film, is one of the greatest creations in cinematic history. I know, that must be hyperbole. But honest to God, it’s not. A pure CG creation, you’ll find yourself in disbelief at how few of the settings are not traditional sets. I know much has been spoken of the quality of the Na’vi people, and the other creatures which populate Pandora, but my same qualms from “Avatar Day” remain in the final film. There are moments where the CG is flawless. You believe the Na’vi are real. You believe the creatures are real. But the plasticine sheen of the finest 3D graphics still rear their ugly head at moments, taking you out of the moment, even briefly.
Despite this, though, the feeling of a real Pandora never fades. The flora, the fauna, the bugs, the sheer atmosphere of it all. It remains completely real. There has literally been nothing like this on screen before. And it is this realistic feeling of the environment, the tangible quality of the setting of Avatar which raises the stakes and heightens the drama, making a standard plot and formidable at best acting feel like such a revolutionary film.
Was this by design? Perhaps. The film’s pacing would certainly lead you to believe so. The plot follows a rather linear pace, slowly revealing the world of the Na’vi to the viewer through Jake Sully’s eyes, showcasing their tribal world through almost small vignettes, as he acclimates himself not just to Pandora, but the Na’vi people. Heck, even the story, which I called predictable above, has properly inserted nuance and detail, making what would otherwise be a dull experience enthralling and interesting. But as the film goes on, you realize each element is key, and it all pays off in an absolutely stunning final battle. And oh what a battle it is.
If you believed from Titanic that Cameron has gone soft, he proves you wrong, with a stunning 20+ minute final war sequence between the Na’vi people and the ex-military mercenaries of the RDA, putting creatures against technology in an all out battle on a scale rarely seen on screen. The closest comparison I could think of was that of the final battle in Return of the King. The “King of the World” has come to reclaim his title as the best action director in Hollywood today, and I do believe he took it.
Lastly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak of the 3D technology at play. After all, it’s what pushed this film forward. While there is never a moment where they play the “IT’S COMING AT YOUUUU” card, the 3D tech adds a level of depth to the world which underlines the alive feeling of Pandora. I can’t say it enough – this is something which has never been done on this scale before, and it just has blown everything else out of the water.
Simply put, Avatar may not have changed the story, but it has changed the way the story is told. A new watermark in the world of science fiction storytelling. Welcome back, Jim. May you take less than 12 years, next time.
UP IN THE AIR (2009): A Review
Cracka-thoom! Cracka-Thoom!
Hear that? That was lightning striking twice. Or, in other words, the career so far of Jason Reitman.
Since breaking into the public consciousness with 2006’s Thank You For Smoking, and then moving into 2007’s Oscar darling Juno, Reitman has had a perfect record for producing high quality films.
Cracka-thoom!
With this year’s Up in the Air, Reitman has done the impossible. He’s made lightning strike thrice.
Like Thank You For Smoking, Up in the Air is at it’s core a story about a charismatic man who does a terrible job terribly well. But unlike Nick Naylor, George Clooney’s Ryan Bingham isn’t a man who defends the Tobacco Industry, his line of business is quite different. Ryan is hired by companies to let employees go, and in this economic climate, business is very good.
Bingham is a master of efficiency. Spending 322 days on the road, he flies from city to city, laying off dozens of workers from dozens of companies. But he has it down pat. You aren’t fired, you’re being let go. It’s not the end of the road, it’s the first step towards destiny. For every down he finds the up, and by God, you find that your life is better without this lousy job. ‘Cause who needs it…and who needs anything really? Ryan certainly doesn’t.
Living in hotel rooms, airports and out of suitcases, the only thing Ryan has tying him down is a small apartment near his office in Omaha, Nebraska. But that’s just for show. His life truly is the road. A master of frequent flyer and regular customer programs, he’s on his way to 10 Million Airline Miles. And it’s never been easier.
Until he slows down.
For all of his life, to paraphrase a Roots lyric, Ryan Bingham has been nose to the grindstone. He doesn’t need to belong, because he simply is. Life is easier for him unencumbered. No baggage. Little luggage. Family? Sure, they exist, but he pays them little mind. He moves forward and moves on. His life is all about solving the inefficiencies at companies, so his life has to remain a well oiled machine.
But it’s once two women enter his life, that, to finish the afformentioned lyric, his head goes into the stars.
The first is a fellow loner – an older, wiser, sexually forward woman named Alex, played wonderfully by Vera Farmiga. She lives her life just as Ryan does. A member of exclusive clubs, with no baggage, head on straight, life moving forward. The other, Natalie (the breakout performance of Anna Kendrick) intends to change his world entirely. A 23 year old hot-shot college student, she moves to make Ryan’s job more efficient. Why fly to each company when you can handle these firings by teleconferencing? What’s the purpose of the money and manpower in the air, when it all can be done from a centralized location? What does the human touch have to do with any of it?
That last is a question that Ryan himself uses to build barriers in his life, but he soon discovers may be the one thing in life he’s great at. In a last ditch effort to keep his life the way he likes it, Ryan takes Natalie on the road, to show her the ropes…and that’s where our story truly takes flight, to pardon the pun.
To explain the rest would be to spoil the film, but we fast learn what Ryan is truly made of…as does he.
As Ryan Bingham, George Clooney wears his trademark charisma and candor as a mask, to hide the true man beneath it all, and honestly, it’s the best role he’s ever played. Subverting his trademark style, Clooney digs deep, and while he has no true moment of catharsis on film (my one gripe toward the film) you feel the shifts in his life. And, just as importantly, you see how and why he’s so god damn good at his job.
And that brings me to the unsung performers of this film. While Kendrick, Farmiga and Clooney might be looking at Golden Globe and possible Oscar noms, the real life unemployed bring this film’s emotional core to the frontline. While putting together the film, Reitman did a casting call for actual unemployed people of all ages, races and genders, and not only asked them how they feel post firing, but did a mock firing with them, to get true responses out of them. These people were only told that it was for a film on “unemployment”, and it is their so called performances that bring an amazing realness to the difficulty of the job that Ryan Bingham has. These sequences are peppered with performances by great character actors like J.K. Simmons and Zach Galfinakis, who add their unique abilities to some of the most memorable firing sequences.
Of course, I’d be terrible to overlook the solid directing of Jason Reitman. He’s a man who’s flown many flights in his time, and obviously loves it as much as his lead character does, and it shows. The opening sequences are shot with an amazing fluidity, a funky rhythm which almost makes the art of checking in for your flight…sexy, as bizarre as it is to say. But as the film moves on, he opens up the shots, lets you breathe in the world…just as Ryan Bingham chooses to do the same.
Up in the Air pushes the importance of real, live interactions and connections in your life, and honestly, I can’t think of a better movie this Christmas for you to see with a loved one, based on that alone. Truly one of the year’s best films, it comes with my whole hearted recommendation. Bravo, Jason. You’re 3 for 3…and this may just be your best film yet.
ACE OF CAKES: INSIDE THE WORLD OF CHARM CITY CAKES [Review]
You know, I really sort of expected to write that I hated this book.
Let me give a bit of history here. While the talented decorating crew and baking staff at Charm City Cakes has been building a name for themselves nationally, here in Baltimore, there’s been a slowly boiling backlash towards them.
First, it was cute, that a local bakery was getting the spotlight. Then, the show grew into a part of the Food Network lineup, mixing the face of Duff with such near comical human beings as the bleach haired Guy Fieri and butter devote Paula Dean. Add the fact that a simple bakery in the middle of Baltimore’s Remmington neighborhood has become somewhat of a tourist magnet, it didn’t take long before Charm City’s citizen’s got a little sick of the so-called Ace of Cakes.
So it was with massive trepidation I cracked the cover of Ace of Cakes: Inside the World of Charm City Cakes. What on Earth had they done to earn a BOOK? What interesting stories would be found within it’s pages? Would this feel like another ghostwritten fluff piece like the biographies of other so called “celebrities” that stuff the shelves (and ultimately bargain bins) of your local Barnes & Nobles?
I’m very shocked, and surprised to say that…it’s actually a hell of a great book.
As someone who quickly grew tired of the Ace of Cakes show proper, I realize that I wasn’t quite the target audience, but the book actually won me over.
Presented more as a catch-all scrapbook, the book contains Duff’s life story up through building the Charm City Cakes empire, written in a very relaxed, informal style. Never once does he seem to have an air of self importance, if anything, he seems as confused as I was that they had a book about them. This can be said for the rest of the staff as well, as each member of a bakery has a 3-4 page bio section, where they describe in depth their journey to the bakery and their favorite projects, giving you a closer glimpse of the team behind the cakes. For avid fans of the show, the book has a roundtable discussion with the Food Network executives who greenlit the show, discussing the process from concept to execution of what could be the network’s least-expected hit. Furthermore, the back of the book has a complete episode guide for the show so far.
What really grabbed me, however, was the stellar design of the book. With full color interiors, including hundreds of personal photos, both impressive and embarrassing, you walk away from the book with an amazing grasp on the really laid back and talented people behind the world-renown Charm City Cakes. One of the highlights of the book has to be the fold-out section with photos of seven years worth of finished cake designs.
At a cover price of $35, the book is more than a little pricey; but online booksellers such as Amazon.com have it as low as $19 as of this writing. I’d say it would make a great holiday gift for a fan of the show or of their amazing cake designs.
Despite my reservations, I have to say I ended up completely impressed. Provided you can get it at a decent discount, Ace of Cakes: Inside the World of Charm City Cakes by Duff & Willie Goldman gets a whole hearted recommendation.
ASTRO BOY: A Review
So, this lovely Sunday morning, I awoke early. I had passes for a 10am screening of Astro Boy.
Now, allow me to explain my place here, as an audience member…I’m not an existing Astro Boy fan. I’m aware of its relevance in Japanese anime/manga history, the importance of Tezuka Osamu, but ultimately, I’m ignorant of the character and it’s history. I enjoyed Imagi’s last film, their 2007 relaunch of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise. Sure, the story was a bit weak, but the animation was stunning, and it seemed like the studio was a few films away from a true classic.
After a delay in starting the screening (the audience was mostly families, and the company sponsoring the screening was hoping to fill the theater a bit more), the lights went dark, and the flick began.
We started in a not-too-distant future (the film never dates itself), where the floating Metro City sits in the skies above Earth, a psuedo utopia. A clean city, where all work is done by robots. And when the city is finished with their robots, they simply dump the broken bots onto the Earth’s surface below. Said background is given in a video presentation in the class of young Toby (Freddie Highmore), son of the amazing scientist Doctor Tenma (a surprisingly reserved Nicholas Cage). Why that video is playing in a physics class, given the pop quiz they are given immediately after, I’m not sure, but I guess they had to shoehorn that in somewhere. Serve the plot.
Turns out, Toby is SUPER smart! He aces the physics test very quickly, and then meets with his robot servant, Orrin (Eugene Levy). Toby has a conversation with his father via hologram, and it turns out the workaholic Doctor Tenma won’t be able to spend time with his son Toby. Doctor Tenma has to finish a very important project, the launch of Iron Monger The Peacekeeper. As I’m sure you’ve figured out, Toby rewires Orrin to go visit his father! And Toby gets there, sneaking his way into the Ministry of Science, meeting the evil President Obidiah Stane Stone (Donald Sutherland, and no, I don’t know how you can be president of a city). Toby pisses off President Stone, and Stone has him taken away by guards. Tenma doesn’t really protest this, and this helps the audience understand that Stone is evil, if his not quite Gran Moff Tarkin look didn’t already give that away.
Cut to the launch of the Peacemaker. He’s designed to be run on Blue Core Energy (a project designed by Doctor Elfun, played by a completely wasted Bill Nighy), a boring macguffin that has an evil negative counterpart, called RED Core Energy! Awesome! The launch of the Peacemaker occurs using the blue core energy, it’s not threatening enough for Evil Villain Stereotype President Stone, so they throw the RED core in, and shit goes haywire. Of course, who has snuck in, but Toby! And who gets stuck with the Peacemaker behind an “energy shield”? You guessed it! TOBY! The Peacemaker tries to break through the shield, is unsuccessful, and the ricocheting blast KILLS TOBY DEAD LEAVING ONLY HIS CAP. Which is seen by every character as a minor inconvenience. What the HELL. A 13 year old child just died, and it’s like President Stone told them they have to work this Saturday.
Ugh.
As you can imagine, this leads to our Pinocchio moment, where a grief ridden Doctor Tenma builds a robot version of his son Toby, powering him with the good Blue Core energy. Of course, like the murdering of a child, this is an effortless creation by Tenma. Because the plot needs it to happen. We have to continue on.
So, Tenma has his Toby back, he’s perfect and amazing, and everything’s good.
Until two scenes later, Tenma has decided that Robot Toby is the worst creation he’s ever had, and he needs to be destroyed.
Why? Because the plot needs it to happen.
Either way, this results in a sequence where Robot Toby learns he can fly, dig through things, has flashlight/x-ray eyes, etc. He apparently wasn’t aware he was a robot.
Now, I know that Robot Toby has Toby’s intelligence, they even said as much. You think the lack of socks, shoes and feet (replaced by robot rocket boots), along with having metal underpants as opposed to gentials DIDN’T GIVE AWAY THAT HE WASN’T NORMAL?!
I know this is a kids movie, but don’t treat the entire audience like we’re retarded. Show some RESPECT.
Anyway, since Doctor Tenma doesn’t want Toby around, he goes flying, evil President Stone notices the flying boy, thinks it’s bad therefor must be destroyed, and he lands on the surface.
We continue with the Pinocchio references, as Robot Toby (now calling himself Astro, a name given to him by the useless addition of a Robot Revolution Force or something like that) ends up taking up with a group of surface dweller human children, including one voiced by Kristen Bell, a girl named Cora who apparently once lived in Metro City. Why did she leave? No idea. Why are the other kids orphans? No idea. All it’s really there for is to keep the plot moving, and get Astro mixed up with Ham Egg, a robot rebuilder who seems like a new father for Astro, but turns against him the minute the plot needs it. This gives us our equivalent to the circus sequence from Pinocchio, as Astro fights a number of robots in a “Robo War” or something like that.
Without giving too much away, I’ll cut to the chase. The film results in a large set piece where Astro ends up back in Metro City, fights President Stone in Iron Monger The Peacemaker. It’s an amazing visual set piece, don’t get me wrong, but there’s no solid reasoning or depth into what occurs. The battle ends with Metro City returning to Earth’s surface, Doctor Tenma loving his Robot Son (just ’cause. I guess Tenma is bipolar), Cora meeting her family, and everyone living happily ever after.
Oh, and then an alien shows up and Astro punches it in the face.
…
Really.
I…I wish I could make reasonable sense as to why this film is as disjointed and nonsensical as it is. Sure, it looks beautiful, but it doesn’t even try to make sense. It’s insulting to it’s audience, it’s insulting to it’s source material, and it’s just poorly done.
And that’s just the surface of many issues in the film. I could rant and rave about how terrible Highmore is as a voice actor (unless they intentionally used the most indifferent of his takes), how inconsistent the environment design was (signs in English! Then Japanese! Then Korean! For no reason!), or how really screwed up it was that a film based on a Japanese property was created with an entirely white cast (seriously, even the background characters were ALL white).
But I’ve already wasted 1100+ words.
Astro Boy is a film to avoid. Like a terrible blind date, sure, it’s nice to look at, but the more it opens it’s mouth, the more time you regret spending with it.
SURROGATES: Or, What The HELL Was That?!
Once again, in full discretion, the passes for Surrogates were provided to me by the fine staff at b.
How can a great concept go so wrong?
On paper, it sounds super intriguing. In a society where humankind has become complacent with using robot surrogates to fufill all aspects of their lives, while they themselves control said robots from home, what happens when the first murder in years occurs, and it’s the son of the man who created these “Surrogates?” Add the cherry on top of a very bankable star in Bruce Willis, it should be an out-of-the-park home run.
Unfortunately for Willis and Disney (who produced the film under their Touchstone Pictures imprint), Surrogates is anything but. It’s a muddied mess of a film, with plotlines picked up, dropped, ignored, as the audience slowly rolls to the finish line, it what is possibly the most irritating 90 minutes to hit screens in some time.
Actually, I take that back…there have been worse films. But none of them had the potential that Surrogates did.
Look at the interesting plotlines used up and pissed away during the movie.
-A frank look at a relationship where a wife is committed to her timeless body, as her husband, who uses a surrogate for his day job, wants nothing more than to enjoy life and old age with her. Sure, we get about 20 minutes of the setup, but they never actually address the issues in the relationship, giving Willis a scene that could’ve been heartbreaking, if we were made to give a damn.
-A battle between the society which uses surrogates, and the “Dreads”, a group of naturalist humans, dedicated to living without technology. That would’ve been amazing, but then they had to go and make their leader, named (I kid you not) “The Prophet.” It’s a shame he never gets to explain what exactly he’s prophesying, as you know, that’d be some DEPTH to the flick. Luckily, this gets muddied up in the climax, with a reveal that serves only to shock, as it ultimately makes the plot fall into itself.
-A story of conspiracy within VSI, the creators of the Surrogates. Again, a plotline that is mentioned, hinted at, and ignored as it gets in the way of the “action packed” ending.
-A tale of the ultimate weapon, which with one blast not only fries the circuitry of a Surrogate, but also kills the human controlling on the other site. This is what the movie builds around, but I ultimately struggle to find the drama, as the damn gun looks like a dollar store shop vac with a plastic planter glued to the front. I guess all the effects budget had to go towards airbrushing Willis’ face with CG when he’s in robot-mode?
Hell, even the acting is inconsistent, with some actors going “full robot” with odd walking patterns, no emotion and no blinking, while some start to use those rules and ignore them during their dialogue. Where the FUCK was the direction on this thing? And before I forget, can we hire someone other than James Cromwell to play the inventor of some sort of technology?
You know, part of me walked out of this film wanting the movie to have been longer, to get the depth each of the above plot threads needed. But now that I think about it, I wouldn’t have trusted them to not screw that up too.
Sorry Bruce, I wanted to dig Surrogates, but it’s just terrible. Don’t waste your money or time.
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009): The Review
So this was a weird one. I had passes for an early screening of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen last night, but due to work commitments, I would be unable to get to theater in time.
Never the less, I wanted to make sure you fine readers got a review. In turn, I looked to my friends to not just give away the pass, but write you a review.
Enter Sean Creef. Nerd. Geek. All around good man.
Sean decided to step up and not just see the flick, but write a review!
Here goes, gang:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
A story of lies, sex, and violence.
First of all, I enjoyed the 2007 Transformers movie. It was corny at times, and there are a few parts I dislike a lot. But overall, I liked the movie.
Revenge of the Fallen was much better.
For starters, there are robots in this movie. And not even just a few token shots of them transforming and then moving around in the corner of a shot, never to be seen again. If I had to guess, I would say there is at least 4 or 5 times as much robot action in this film. And it is generally front and center on the screen, clearly visible. This alone is such an improvement over the original. Second, there are much less annoying human characters. They cut out 3 or 4 annoying people, and while they did add one, he was at least with Sam co pretty much the entire time, so we didn’t dick around seeing what aussie hacker and fat guy were doing. No Jon Voight, either.
The Military badasses are back. But they spend all their time palling around with Transformers in some sort of interplanetary alliance of asskicking. They have a decent amount of chatter with the Autobots, so instead of ‘annoying people doing stuff’ it is ’somewhat less annoying people being buds with robots’.
Now the bad stuff. The movie has a lot of stupid comedic elements that somewhat break the immersion or, in my opinion, come off as just crude. Robotic leg humping, robotic testicles. At least nobody gets urinated on by a robot.
Back to the action. The robot on robot violence is fierce, fast, and brutal. I am pretty sure the level of bot on bot violence would not be allowed in a Hollywood film if the characters were human – limbs are severed and bodies torn apart with significant frequency. The initial chase and fight scene in Shanghai is confusing due to the reliance on new characters that we are never introduced too properly. Some car-form Decepticon is shown and killed without a name given.
And that takes me back to another thing I dislike – the Twins. Mudflap and his twin, whose name I honestly did not catch, and nor could I tell you which tiny annoying robot was Mudflap. Were they funny? Yeah, at times. But they were also somewhat retarded, and would have been better off in some other movie. In this one they seemed out of place and hokey. Also I personally thought they looked like Gremlins and acted like inner city teenagers on crack.
The movie culminates in a lengthy, epic ass battle in Egypt. Or maybe Jordan. I was a tad confused. IT was along the border so it is hard to say. But the battle was possibly the most epic modern battle I have ever seen. Tanks, infantry, almost 2 dozen transformers, air strikes, it had everything. Even something that will make sci-fi and military tech geeks spooge their pants.
In summation, Transformers 2 was a total upgrade of the original. It cut out most of the annoying crap from the previous film. It added an asston more robot on robot action. The stupid jokes were still there, and, while many were funny, they felt out of place or worse. Wheelie, the cowardly RC Car is the worst offender by far, though the Twins are more frequent.
Personally, I’m seeing the midnight show tonight (which could be a bad decision, if Roger Ebert is correct), but we’ll see how it pans out.
TERMINATOR SALVATION (2009): The Review
Disclaimer: Once again, the fine people at b gave me passes to a pre-release film. Also, this review has minor spoilers. But really nothing you couldn’t gather from the trailers, anyway.
Last February, I attended New York Comic Con. More than just a comic convention, it’s grown to be the haven for nerds of all shapes and sizes, an East Coast equivalent to the venerable San Diego Comic Con, which has become known more as the launchpad for Summer blockbusters, than for it’s comic-related content.
Anyway, I sat there, on a cold Saturday afternoon, as director McG took his plea to the geek populace….Terminator Salvation is coming. And it will be good.
This was a tough time to be McG. The audience was doubting him, given his track record (Sugar Ray videos and Charlie’s Angels movies do not a SciFi director make), and earlier that week, a tape surfaced of his lead actor chewing out a lighting guy. But he made his play. He sold himself, he sold the film. And then he showed us the reel.
8 minutes of unfinished scenes, some dialogue, and an indication of what this next Terminator was going to be. The geeks ate it up. Well. Except for me.
It looked…disjointed. As if the film was going to be a handful of stories slapped together, with admittingly stunning looking effects. But I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Come May, I’d know one way or another.
So it was with trepidation I walked into the theater this evening.
For those of you new to the Terminator saga, let’s throw you headlong into this one. The year is 2018. Judgement Day occurred. This means half the human population was killed in a Nuclear explosion caused by the self-aware AI known as Skynet (think Google, but REALLY evil.) Pretty much all the humans are dead, but those that are still alive are fighting the robot armies. One of the leaders of this group is freedom fighter, John Connor (Christian Bale).
John has quite the pedigree, as he (and his mother, who cameos in this installment via voiceover) has fought many a Terminator robot sent through time to kill him (as he’s ‘the one’, you see), and now, years later, he’s looking to find one person in particular. Kyle Reese (played in this edition by Anton Yelchin).
Why Kyle? Because Kyle is his father. John (in a future later than this) sends Kyle back in time to impregnate his mother, effectively creating himself. Confused yet?
Awesome, because here comes the wrench known as Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington). The movie starts with Marcus’ story, as he’s a death row prisoner in the year 2003. Minutes before his lethal injection, he’s convinced by a cancer patient (Helena Bonham Carter) to sign some mysterious paperwork. He awakes in 2018 with no memory, and looks to find his way in this post-apocalyptic world.
I know, that’s a lot of exposition for ultimately what is the first 10 minutes of the film, but unfortunately for us, that’s about as much driving plot as we get for the first hour. The film plods along, with nods to the 3 prior Terminator films, and a subplot with Marcus falling for a female freedom fighter (Moon Bloodgood), but ultimately….we’re given no reason to care. Scenes go by, characters are introduced, and relationships and conflicts are built…why? Just because.
And that’s ultimately Terminator Salvation’s biggest failure as a picture. The film has no meaning. You have an incredible cast gathered together, stunning visuals, amazing sound design…and really nothing for them to play with. Huge explosions and eyedropping set-pieces (including an exciting motorcycle chase and giant robot sequence) are reduced to nothing, as we as the audience have been given nothing on screen to grab onto. It’s almost insulting that the second act reveal of Marcus’s true history (surprise! he’s a robot!) is ancillary for the audience, as we haven’t seen much of a hint of his origins, or given any true reason to care about the character.
This unfortunately can be said for most of the cast, including an impassioned Christian Bale, who is given nothing more than to look and sound important, and we the audience, much like the fellow members of The Resistance, are supposed to see him as a leader just because other’s say he is? Where are his moments of growth? Where is his indecision? What makes him tick? We’re given none of these things.
It’s a damn shame that a film that drills the concept of the importance of one’s heart, has no heart of it’s own. It isn’t until the final act assault on Skynet that you feel anything near a level of excitement or evolvement with the film. It should come as no real surprise, but this is also where the film excels the most, which should be enough to send most audiences home happy.
In this case though, I’m left feeling rather hollow.
They say that a film is the sum of it’s parts. But how a film with such solid acting, adept directing, and arresting visuals and audio can leave one cold will remain a mystery. Terminator Salvation is simply put, a tepid rendition of what should be a jaw-dropping movie going experience.
It’s been said that many times, some of the best stories are left untold. Maybe the tease of Judgement Day seen in Terminator 2 was the most the story needed.
Despite all this though, I’m left with a question. During the press junket for this film, McG said that 30-40 minutes were cut out of the film. Maybe his original cut is all you’d want and more? And maybe, just maybe, on the world of DVD and Blu-Ray, Terminator Salvation can be saved.
STAR TREK (2009)…As Seen By A Non-Fan.
In the interest of full disclosure, I’d like to share that I was afforded this opportunity to see Star Trek by the staff of b. I thank them for the pass, and I am both humbled and horrified to know that “marty f’n day” is known by name in their halls. Also, it was in IMAX. Suck it, nerds.
In all my years of nerddom, there were two levels I’d never broach. One out of personal indifference, one out of personal dislike. Indifference was the way for pen and paper role-playing games. Never grabbed me, and at the age of Twenty-Four, I doubt they’d grab me now. Dislike was the way of Star Trek.
In life, I feel all people can be evenly split amongst two groups. Typically, this theorem is applied to Superman and Batman…you either love one, or another, and it says something about you. I’ve felt this way about Star Wars and Star Trek.
Trek was seen in my eyes as the sterile exploration of space, pushed through the eyes of 60’s nostalgia. Wars was the epic, the grandiose tale in the vein of pulp long lost. Exploration versus adventure. Analysis versus opera. This is what split the two. And I’ve long put myself in the “Wars” side of things.
But ‘lo, Paramount had a vision.
Star Trek, long considered the thing of hardcore sci-fi fandom, had lost it’s grip on the mainstream realm. Eleven films later, and only the most devout of fans were coming out. The television shows, no longer grabbing the ratings they once were.
It was time to make Star Trek anew. Batman Begins did it, so why not Trek?
The first key move in grabbing these new eyes was attracting the directing talents of JJ Abrams. Cultivating an audience over his television shows Alias and Lost, films like Mission: Impossible III and Cloverfield…he WAS mainstream….but the geeks loved him just as much.
And so Paramount set out, with a cast of relative unknowns (and the knowns, best known for cult) and a director the world adored.
Did it work?
Absolutely.
From the first frame of the first true trailer I knew that this was the Star Trek film that would grab me headlong into the Trekkies warm embrace. And by god, it delivered.
From the opening sequence, which shows an epic space battle on an incredible scale (and proves that Abrams learned a lesson or two from Joss Whedon), we’re thrust headlong into the growth of this new universe’s James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock from childhood to starfleet and their ascension to the roles we’ve become accustomed to seeing them as.
Note the term “new universe”? Yeah, that’s super key here, as not only do we newbies get a new Trek universe to call our own, but they conveniently tie it to the existing Trek cannon. The explanation for this is incredibly complicated and verbose, but it sets the entire films plot into motion, and is rather fantastically verbalized by a rather reverent and wizened Leonard Nimoy.
What follows is possibly one of the better sci-fi movies of the summer, if not of the year, if not of quite a few years.
From top to bottom, Star Trek delivers.
It starts with an incredible lead in Chris Pine’s James Kirk. One part Shatner, one part Daniel Craig’s reinterpretation of James Bond, he (pardon the pun) commands the screen with equal parts charisma and wit. You understand how he could become a captain at such a young age, and Pine is an absolute blast to watch in character building scenes like the Kobayashi Maru.
Right behind him is Zachary Quinto as Spock. I had a feeling this would be his breakout moment, and by god, he is wasting his time on Heroes. Quinto personifies both sides of Spock, human and vulcan, to a T, and is a great compliment to Pine. (A side note, Winona Ryder appears as Spock’s Mother, and sweet jesus do I feel old having an actress I had such a crush on appearing as someone’s MOTHER.)
The rest of the supporting cast lives up to their roles with equal joy and abandon. Anton Yelchin as Chekov, Simon Pegg as Scotty, and Karl Urban as Bones reignite their iconic roles, showing deep character despite ultimately being used as comedic relief throughout the film, but I have no doubt they’ll be the highlight of future installments. While fleetingly used, John Cho is a superb Sulu, shining in his action sequences, and Bruce Greenwood is a believable inspiration for Kirk, as Captain Christopher Pike.
Possibly the unsung hero of the film, I suppose appropriate given his villain status, is Eric Bana as the villainous Nero. In his appearances on screen, Nero remains an imposing presence, showing equal parts intelligence and anger. You truly believe that he could destroy a world at a moments notice…yet believe he was in the right to do so.
Unfortunately, there is a weak-link in the film, and it’s Zoe Saldana as Uhura. While a perfectly fine actress, Saldana is reduced to window dressing, acting as a lover to Spock and lust object for Kirk, while having no real character development of her own. Hopefully Star Trek II will fix this.
What can I say? For the 126 minute running time of the film, I was completely enthralled, and as a decided anti-Trekkie, I never thought I’d say this…I loved Star Trek.
And hopefully you hardcore fans will love it too. There are tons of nice references dropped about the film, both for Trek fans (note the color of a certain sky jumping suit…you’ll predict his fate) and Abrams nerds (SLUSHO! GREG GRUNBERG’S VOICE!), and all and all, it’s just a stunning experience.
After the decidedly tepid kick off to the summer movie season last weekend with X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I am super pleased to say…the summer movie season is finally here, with JJ Abrams’ relaunch of Star Trek.
Be there this weekend. In IMAX, if you can.
