What Are They Doing To My Denny’s?

  • Author: Marty Day
  • Filed under: eats
  • Date: Jun 23,2008

As embarassing as it is to admit, I spent many of my teenage nights lounging at the shitty booths at my local Denny’s.

…then they remodeled, taking away the urine-stenched ambiance and general cheese ball nature of the restaurant.  But hey, it was still a nice late night place to eat poorly for cheap.

Over the years, my attendance twindled. But I still knew it as a fine place to eat late, or have a solid breakfast. Hell, I recently enjoyed a post-Iron Man slice of Apple Pie a la mode!

Despite this fact, I don’t want Denny’s catering directly to me.

According to the linked article from ChainLeader.com, Denny’s is now attempting to cater directly to the post-show, teenage-to-twenties late night crowd, with an exclusive menu served from 10pm to 5am.

Some of these new menu options?

  • Potachos - Freshly fried and seasoned kettle chips topped with crumbled sausage, bacon, bell pepper and onion mix, cheese sauce and shredded Cheddar cheese.
  • Sweet Ride Nachos - Freshly fried flour tortilla chips tossed in cinnamon sugar, then topped with strawberry topping, raspberry sauce, seasonal fruit, hot fudge, caramel, white chocolate chips and whipped cream.
  • Smokin’ Q Four Pack -Four mini burgers topped with sweet & tangy BBQ sauce, crispy onion rings, Cheddar cheese and bacon. Served with a double portion of onion rings.
  • Cheesy Four Pack - Four mini burgers with American cheese, ketchup, mustard, grilled onions and pickle chips. Served with a double portion of onion rings.
  • Value menu items, starting at $3.99, include a sweet & tangy BBQ bacon burger; crispy chicken sandwich; chicken strip and mozzarella sticks combo; and nacho cheese fries.

Sounds good, right? Oh, but then the marketers got involved.

Firstly, the standard Denny’s ambiance? GONE.  Lights will be dimmed for a “club like feel”, and Denny’s servers will swap their traditional uniforms for jeans and black “Get Your Crave On” t-shirts.  Restaurants will also play alternative rock music from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m.

Next up, to further that ultra important band cred, they’ve has asked groups including Taking Back Sunday, Plain White T’s, Eagles of Death Metal and The All-American Rejects to help the chain dream up new dishes for rollout later this summer.

Furthermore, they’re planning to feed emerging bands currently on tour through its new “Adopt-A-Band” program, available at www.dennysallnighter.com. Bands can enter to become a Denny’s Adopted Band through the site, and then attempt to win free meals and promotional support via fan vote.

…can’t they leave well enough alone?  I could be wrong, but don’t we visit Denny’s for Denny’s? Not bizarro hip-club-environment-eatery?  No matter how you disguise it, pandering is pandering…and this just reeks.


DEATH ON A ROLL

  • Author: Marty Day
  • Filed under: eats
  • Date: Jun 20,2008

So maybe you’re a fan of Outback Steakhouse, the not-at-all-Australian Australian eatery full of steaks and oniony goodness.

And maybe you’re a fan of their oh so deadly Bloomin’ Onion, which with it’s 2310 calories and 134g of Fat is enough to cover your entire food intake for two days.

Maybe you said to yourself, “You know what that needs? MEAT.”

Don’t worry, slovenly members of society, Outback has come to your rescue with…THE BLOOMIN’ BURGER!

With this impressive meat-stack disguised as a hamburger, you don’t just get a juicy burger, you also get it covered with fresh american cheese, lettuce, tomato, and bloomin’ onion peels.

And if that wasn’t enough, you also get a side of what appears to be a snak-pak sized portion of bloomin’ onion sauce.  Because when you want to take yourself out with a sandwich, you might as well go out on top.

Be sure to act fast, as this burger’s only available through September.  That, and it’ll probably do you good to do some running beforehand.

….the sad part? I still really want to try one. :(


How Cheap Are Flights To Texas These Days?

As I was just complaining about to my friends in Karmella’s Game (watch out, don’t trip on the name I just dropped), I really wish they were playing SXSW, so I had an excuse to go.

I mean, an entire week devoted to awesome music shows and movies, in one of the coolest cities in the US…who could say no?

Now I have even more of a reason to head to Austin, TX…to check out The Alamo Drafthouse.

alamodrafthouse.jpg

This amazing post over at /film explains it far better than I could in this space.  I mean…movies…food..booze…who the hell could say no to that?


McDonald’s Japan Wants You Dead.

  • Author: Marty Day
  • Filed under: eats
  • Date: Mar 14,2008

Frequently, I joke about the seemingly American-only propensity toward restaurant items that will kill you dead.

Today, McDonald’s Japan proved me very wrong.

They first stepped up the deadly burger gauntlet with the Mega Mac, literally, a Big Mac with 2x the patties…

megamac.jpg

Then they said nay! We are not done! Let’s add to it!

This gave us the Mega Tomaco (literally, Mega Egg, a Mega Mac with bacon and egg) and the Mega Tomato (a Mega Tomaco with Tomato opposed to Egg)…

mega-tamago-mega-tomato.jpg

Still undaunted, McJapan said…”We’ve got this great Mega Mac thing here, and these Teriyaki Burgers going…let’s get our chocolate in our peanut butter and make some sandwiches!”, giving us the Mega Teriyaki.

mega-teriyaki1.jpg

This brought McDonald’s Japan unprecedented success.

Today brings a brand new day for the Japanese McDonald’s empire, as they start their “Mega Morning/Mega Day/Mega Night” campaign, making the Mega Mac and Mega Teriyaki standard items, and adding…THE MEGA MUFFIN!

megamuffin.jpg

Time to save up the few grand needed to fly to Japan and get a bypass surgery.


But Can We Fit Another Pizza In There?

  • Author: Marty Day
  • Filed under: eats
  • Date: Feb 26,2008

If you’re like me, you’ve noticed the bizarre trend these days with all of the major pizza chains going towards custom crusts.

Surprise, surprise…the Asians have beaten us to the punch, and apparently have been for years, if this post from Slice is any indication, listing the top 10 crazy pizza crusts from the far east continent.

My favorite? Bring on the GERMAN KING!  Featuring a bacon, sausage and cheese crust, it’ll insure I’m in the grave by 30.

pizzahut-germanking.jpg

Mm…life-threatening.